What started as pure recreation in 2004, and became a
substantial focus in 2009, is now my chief source of income and where most of
my productive time is spent. To some
extent, I chose this, and to some extent circumstances pushed me into it. As the Buddhists say 'and now this'. Here I am, what should I do.
Despite the fact that I am 51 and have achieved a great deal
in other spheres, have several college degrees, have had several different
white (starched white) collar careers, there is an old nagging question: is
this what I ought to be doing with my life?
My credentials for writing this? One of the things I’ve done with my life is
to earn a degree in Organizational Psychology, and one aspect of that field is ‘career
choice’. Another thing is to qualify and
earn my living as a career/ life coach for some of the highest paid people in
the world. And I play Poker professionally
now – so my comments come from ‘inside’ the profession (so to speak).
The reasons I ask this question of myself, and you should
ask it of yourself are two-fold.
If you don’t think you ‘ought’ to be doing this, then there
will be limits to your happiness. You
may achieve a lot, but if the voice in your head (sometimes called the ‘itty
bitty shitty committee’) feels you ought to be doing something else, the ‘bracelet’
moment will be quickly followed by more existential malaise. This is not theory. I returned from a massive series where I’d
won two tournaments and narrowly missed ‘player of the series’. I’ve been somewhat depressed since and this ‘ought
I to be doing this’ is part of that depression. (In a later article series, I'm going to discuss poker, addiction and mental health.)
If you don’t think you ought to be doing it, you will not
devote yourself passionately, whole-heartedly to being the best you can
be. You may be talented, but you will
not spend the countless hours away from the tables improving. You may not take ancillary factors seriously
enough: diet, sleep, exercise. You may
distract yourself with other, more ‘legit’ pursuits.
So we, I, need to settle this question. You need to settle this question.
Let us first deal with ‘ought’. In ethics, ‘ought’ has some moral force. In Freudian psychology, ‘ought’ is the superego
(parental and societal influences) talking.
Always, the ‘ought’ in poker comes out against it. It doesn’t count as a legit occupation in the
eyes of society – despite the fact, as I’ve argued elsewhere, that poker is
precisely the same set of intellectual activities as trading on Wall Street. Few parents, and especially not mine, find
tears of pride when they discuss ‘my son the poker player’.
However passionately we may feel about the game, those are
substantial psychic forces – greater in some individuals than in others – will act
as a counterweight to our passion: a ‘but’ that will always be there. That can be hard to live with. In this century, in the West, we are unlikely
to get invited to the snootiest of country clubs.
It is ok to care about this (negative) influence; it is ok
to not care about it. What is less ok
from a psychological point of view is to pretend not to care (who gives a
s^&t) when actually part of you does.
Intellectual honesty is required, and in my case, with my parentage, and
the cultural influences in my life, the ‘my son the poker bum’ will be hard to
avoid. It is one of the realities I have
to live with.
When you do decide ‘I can live with this’, it is wise to be
aware that it may limit opportunities elsewhere. The nice girl you now want to marry, may
decide as tying the knot comes closer, that the ‘oughts’ in her life are too
strongly against marrying a poker player.
Samurai warriors used to visualize their fear out in front of them, at their sword tip, so they could 'look it in the eye'. That is what, if you are serious, you need to do with the 'oughts' in your Pokerlife. They are always there - the choice is how to accept them fully, and deal with them honestly and squarely.
In part 2, I will look at a model of career values, and
provide you with a ‘values questionnaire’ to help you decide whether poker
aligns with your values.
In part 3, I will look at a three-part career model (from
career counseling), which asks whether the three key career choice factors are
there: passion, skills/ aptitude, and lifestyle
fit.
Paul Gibbons has been
an investment banker, a consultant, a top executive coach, and a successful serial
entrepreneur. In 2011, he founded
Healthy Poker LLC. He has $500k in live
and online cashes during the last eighteen months. He has degrees in
Biochemistry, Philosophy and Psychology.
